Friday, September 26, 2008

The Sarah Palin Chronicles Vol 2: Hard Knock Wife

Storm Clouds Ahead

Since we are talking abt Sarah Palin, I just thought I’d mention this: Back when Mitt Romney looked like he had the Republican nomination on lock (This was late last year, during the Illinois Straw Poll, where he led all the Republican nominees with approx 40% of the support), I posted this long ass anti-Romney rant. Here’s an excerpt:

Why is this mofo called Mitt? Seriously, how more weirdly All- American can your name be? Mitt? Oven mitt? Baseball mitt? God I get it, Mitt! I don’t care how super competent or genuinely nice you are, if you are someone named Mitt, I will definitely not chill with you - If we were in high school , I would definitely not sit at the same lunch table with you. If it’s a really hot day and we were playing ball, I’d definitely not give you any of my Fruitopia. Even if a severely-dehydrated Mitt saved my life on that day, I’d only give him orange juice (But only with tons of pulp, coz I’m an asshole like that) Moving on…

From watching the Daily Show and frequently visiting, I know that duke has 5 sons who are basically “serving” their country by not fighting the righteous “war on terror” and instead traveling across America for their dad’s campaign. How admirable! These five brothers refer to themselves as umm the “Five Brothers”. They also maintain lame-ass emosexxxual blogs here: Need I say more?

Check out their super All-American names: Josh, Matt, Craig, Ben and Tagg. Shit shit I get it Mitt! Hold up though: WTF is up with naming your son Tagg? Is this after the men’s bodyspray or the game? Either way its pretty homo, if you ask me. Also, you named one of your sons Matt? Is that a play on words based on your own name? “Hi my name is Mitt and this is my son Matt.” - I’m not impressed. If my name was Mitt and I wanted to show off my wordplay capabilities, I’d name my son Ttim. Yeah, you heard right, Tim with two TTs. That’s intriguing. I would definitely vote for a Ttim! Wouldn’t you? ”

Fast forward to now – Romney’s off the Republican radar (thanks to my rant, I’d like to believe), but McCain’s set up Sarah Palin as his VP nominee. In case you didn’t already know, Palin’s kids are named Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper. Probably just to spite me and my efforts to keep silly names out of politics and world domination.

Do these names placate the public? Is this supposed to be endearing?

Republicans don't play, boyyy. I'm gonna assume tht Mrs Palin named her son Track to let y’all know that she runs shit. Place your bets.

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