Thursday, October 9, 2008

Anal-ytical Appreciation: NKOTB's Single

Its rough on the suburban block

This song won't let go of the airwaves, so I had to say my peace.

How old is too old? Is it possible for old people to make exciting, new music? Or is the very nature of pop music based on the type of edgy exuberance and brashness that only comes with the excitement of youth?

OK, NKOTB '08 fans: I’ll take it slow. Step by Step. Let's set our feelings aside. Let’s talk numbers, shall we? A single number in fact: 1986. What’s it mean to you? I know, it hurts to remember that faaaaaaaaaaaaaar back, doesn’t it? For Christsakes, Jesus hadn’t even invented the internet yet! But, yes 1986 did happen once upon a long, looooong time.

1986: Reagan in the White House. Chernobyl and Iran Contra in the headlines. Cheers, Cosby Show, Murder She Wrote and the Golden Girls on primetime. The Karate Kid 2, Top Gun, and Ferris Beuller's Day Out in theatres. Yes,1986 - the year that NKOTB's debut album dropped.

Now that we’ve got a snippet of perspective. Fast forward to 22 years later. 2008. Old kids, new block. Now looka here, childrens, I'm not here to hate on your muhfucking old-ass uncles' attempts @ serenading the young, single girls of the world. Senior citizens have needs too. Economic policies addressing Social Security? On the fritz. The electricity bill for those old people scooters? Off the chain. Fuel consumption on those Cadillacs ? Ridonkulous. The price of Viagra & other pharmaceutical purchases ? Reeetarded. Its hard to hang in tough.

Yknow, there's a lot of people who think that the dire, chaotic state of today's world will result in great art - More specifically, art that denounces flamboyant posturing in favour of real, gritty meditations on life in the slow lane. ‘Single’ maybe one such example.

Y’all know that staying relevant is a vicious game. Soccer moms and trophy wives can only boost your self esteem for so long. It was just inevitable that these dudes would get reckless in their quest for fresh blood and bank. A desire for some new kids on the cock, if you will.

But here’s where the world-weary realism steps in. As opposed to the young R&B cats who promise you wedded bliss life-long or sexual satisfaction all-night long, the new kids are much more modest about their sexual potency. They just wanna keep the girls up… "until the song –
woah oh oh - goes off. "

So, girls you don’t gotta be alone. Single and more than ready to mingle? Get your bedspreads ready coz the New Kids get busy.

For 3 minutes and 55 seconds.

With a little bit of help from a black man.


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