Thursday, November 6, 2008

Single, Please Mingle: Beyonce's 'Single Ladies'

Nobody’s talking about this song either, dudes. Are there such things as R&B Blogs? Coz maybe I’m looking in the wrong places. Suggestions are welcome. (I ain’t a music critic mon amis, I just think out loud often. I’m merely here to learn, and scream for joy every now and then) N-E-Ways. I ask about R&Blogs, coz I assume that they’d be creaming their collective crotch over tracks like this. I mean, rap blogs are usually all over joints where rappers spit over strange, off kilter beats. Not a surprise really. We’re all fiendin’ for that new-new.

Though I’ve never heard a Beyonce LP in its entirety, I’m familiar w/ her singles, and she’s been flirting with some pretty interesting choices lately. I guess I pay particular attention coz a) its beyonce and b) she doesn’t need to be doing this; she’s got the clout and the capital to be copping reliable, surefire pop hits. Mind you, she’s never shied away from taking the
safe route. But every now and then, Sasha spazzes and throws a curveball right at your testicles.

So, about this new joint. Bit of a ball breaker really. Sure, the vocal melody is a solid sing-along, but the beat? The beat’s all bloop-bleep-blorg-blurg - Atonal, cold and menacing. Interesting but totally unfriendly. You go against your gut instincts and try to befriend it, but it totally doesn’t submit to small talk. Not having any, no sir. You’re like, “Hey, nice day huh?” and it just shrugs and walks away. And you’re like “What a loser! *long pause* Why doesn’t it like me?”

And the video *wipes forehead* Whew…viewers, don’t forget your sunscreen. Forrealthough, the video’s in the same league as the beat – it’s on some she-is-legend, apocalyptic chorus line shit; Stepford Wives meets Dreamgirls meets B-girls in barren, desolate space. Did you notice the glittering gauntlet that Beyonce’s got on her right hand? Damn, is that how Jigga rolls these days? Forget about diamond engagement rings, platinum glove shackles are about to be all the rage next season. Seriously, talk about keeping your pimp hand strong. (Come to think of it, she probably used her iron fist to bitchslap Jay into writing this ballad) Oh-oh-o.

Anywaayys, maayyyne. It’s a good single. I don’t hear it often enough. At the very least, you need to put a ringtone on it.

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