Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Single, Please Mingle: Genghis Tron's 'Board Up The House'

Props to Geekdown’s ‘Rethinking 2008’ post for reminding me about Genghis Tron’s ‘Board up the House.' I’ve quickly sampled the record twice, and although it doesn’t sound like it’ll stack up against Krallice & Origin’s latest releases, it’ll do just fine for now. This is obviously the album’s title track. The synths on this track are a personal fave; they actually work throughout the record without being corny.

Now you’re telling me: dude yousafool, what took you so long to listen to this record? Well funny story, I just never recovered from the reviews this record got. See, since this band’s blending all these IDM/electro sounds with metal & grindcore, critics had to be extra-snappy with their genre classifications. My favourite critic-invented description of their sound was “cyber-grind.” Now, its not that cybergrind’s a particularly bad label to describe the electronics-laced metal sound Genghis Tron’s got going on. It’s just that ‘cybergrind’ always gives me this mental image of well...youuuuuuuuuuknow... robots dirty dancing. Am I right or am I right? Cybergrind’s obviously a pre-mating robo-ritual. Come the weekend, out goes the programming directives, in comes the binary code gangbangs. I imagine all the machines get in on this cybergrind orgy. The moment us humans turn off the lights, these robots let their freak flag fly. Shit probably gets real nasty.

You notice how you every morning you find strange stains in your microwave? Oh yeaaah dudes, that wasn’t last night’s pasta, that’s just the remnants of a wild night of cybergrind. Better wipe that robo-skeet off before you heat your next Pizza Pop. Trust me on this one.

There is also another related reason I can’t be completely comfortable listening to Genghis Tron. Personally, the term ‘cybergrind’ vividly brings to life the image of Rosie (the robot maid from the Jetsons) performing an incredibly erotic dutty wine. Oh please. Do not front and pretend like you wouldn’t tap that titanium. Those love handles were built to last, dun. Like, damn.

Now where was I? Right, right Genghis Tron. This song’s dope.

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