Monday, December 1, 2008

Single, Please Mingle: Janet Jackson's 'Go Deep'

What’re you waiting for? Jeez Louise, just press play! C’mon dudes, take a chance, lend you ears. Sure, it’s a throwback, but the tune’s top notch. What? You’re in a hurry? What d’you mean you have to go home? Now?? Is it that urgent? Oh really? You gotta go upload a new Facebook profile pic ? And it can't wait? All I asked for was a moment of your time! That’s luxury you can afford, amigos. You’re seriously gonna front on a Janet Jackson jam?? Whatever. I see how it is.

See, this is exactly why you’re unhappy.

This is why your farts are extra-lethal. This is why they always lie to you. This is why they bully you at school. This is why your significant other met someone else aka This is why its not you, its them. This is why even telemarketers don’t bother calling you. This is why you cry yourself to sleep listening to Coldplay records. This is why you’re ironic. This is why you love travelling aka This is why you always wanna get the hell outta wherever you are. This is why you’re always sarcastic. This is why you have easily-irritable bowels. This is why people yawn at your house parties. This is why you’re always hating stuff. This is why you’re always overanalyzing shit. This is why you talk about life. This is why you think about death.

This is why you’ve always been deeply unsatisfied.

Coz you never learned to uncross your arms. Coz you never bothered to press play.

Hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink. Press play. Now sway sway. I'll wait.


Jordan said...

At first when I pressed play the video wouldn't load for a minute and I thought the whole point of this post was to insult everybody. Then, terrified of being miserable and alone, I refreshed the page and pressed play again. I watched.

Dude is totally about to rub one out to the video before the doorbell rings. Is this meant to condition young men to stroke to Janet videos, or just an acknowledgment of this as a common practice among its viewers?

What is this bouncy device they have mounted the camera on? Why did they do that?

Why does the video look like it was made on your parents camcorder?

Why does the guy immediately abandon his guests, call his friends and make popcorn? Dude has the lamest fantasy ever.

Jay (d)eff Kay said...

I actually was going to just post an audio link to the song, coz its the song I wanted to really highlight with the post. didnt want to detract from its awesomeness. but then I remembered this video and was like, I can't just ignore this completely, this shit's really engaging. popstars taking these sharp left turns is always interesting, especially when they could still bank on being complacent.

I don't think I'll be able to do justice to your worthy concerns, but here's a shot:

- Surprisingly, i am a much more classy & civilized dude than you are, coz i didnt see any evidence of him trying to rub one out. he was just really, really into the groove of the tune. How dare you rob the innocence of this video?

- the bounciness of the video : definitely an interesting device in the mix. if we go along with your 'horny dude' motif, its reasonable to assume that the bouncy device that the camera's attached to, is his dick. No (no homo).

- that parent's handycam look is cool too. especially, since this released back in 1997. I don't remember the whole lo-fi indie look being trendy back then.

- i assumed he didn't abandon his guests, he was just being a gracious host and getting some popcorn for them

- on a related note, did you see how much popcorn spilled over? Like, WTF. What major assembly line, industrial-type popcorn machine is he messing with @ home? The other possibility: radioactive microwave results in mutant popcorn multiplying. There's a movie franchise in there somewhere.

Some other interesting things you may or may not know

- the dude is that guy Ty from even stevens

- the directors of this video are Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris -who directed a whole bunch of other nice videos including smashing pumkin's 'tonight tonight'. They also went to direct freaking 'Little Miss Sunshine'