Sunday, May 31, 2009

Anal-ytical Appreciation: Jazmine Sullivan "Lions, Tigers & Bears"

So this reminds me a lot of that Anal-ytical Appreciation post on Solange that I posted a month ago i.e It's a video that's been on regular rotation in the BET Now cycle. It's a song that I really like. The song and accompanying video seem to be doing everything right. Jazmine Sullivan's cute. But then the lyrics of the chorus hits you.

Here's the whole chorus in case you think I'm taking shit out of context:

"I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears (Oh my!)
But I'm scared of (loving you)
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair (that's right)
But I'm scared of (loving you)
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task?
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?
Why do we love Love, When Love seems to hate us?"

Ok, so I'm not totally daft. I get it. She's trying to communicate the trepidation and fear involved in loving someone without reserve. She's pondering about commitment and the fear of loss. The fear of dependence and putting your heart completely out there. Yada yada yada.

But wowowowow. Hold the fuck up. Did Ms Sullivan just say that she wasn't scared of lions and tigers and bears? Oh my indeed. How the fuck are you not scared of lions AND tigers AND bears? Heck, I'm shitting my pants at the thought of encountering a lion, a tiger and a bear. And I'm not talk about a slight stain on my drawls. I'm talking about heavy fecal downpour. I'm talking about shit heavily encompassing my boxers and then slowly dripping down through my pant legs into my socks and shoes. Hell, some shit slips by the hem of my pants and onto the floor. It's not pretty.

Point being: I'm scared @ the thought of dealing with a lion, a tiger, and a bear. So it really irks me that this Sullivan chick decided to take her gangsta posturing a step further. She takes it into plural territory. Like goddamn. She's not scared of lions AND tigers AND bears. Arrrrrghhh.

Am I a big pussy? Or does Ms Sullivan need more people?

P.S Random Bonus footage for all you asswipes that are not scared of lions and tigers and bears.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

PSA: Cadence Weapon - Poet Laureate

Cadence Weapon - In Search of the Youth Crew (Afterparty Babies, 2008)

So in case you haven't heard - Rollie Pemberton aka rapper Cadence Weapon just got sworn in as the 'Poet Laureate' for the city of Edmonton (Alberta, Canada). Congratulations homie. I'm really glad. Now don't get me wrong: I'm not the type of person who looks for rap to be validated by the art critic community at large. Fuck that insecure shit in a diarrhetic butthole. I am, however, happy for any type of recognition or exposure this guy gets.

The main reason I even posted this news article is to remind you to get off that NyQuil coz you are seriously sleeping if you aren't up on this guy (Pause?). I really enjoyed his debut 'Breaking Kayfabe' but it was his sophomore album 'Afterparty Babies' that totally won me over. Dude brought his boombox to the rave and it was a totally smashing mix of electro and hip-hop. Hands down, one of my favourite hip hop records of '08. While his technical rap skills might not blow you away, I doubt you can really front on the refreshing perspectives he kicks in his rhymes. I hope people remember him for being more than the guy that rapped:
"I can’t work day to day and live and starve in the lunchline /
That’s why my shows last longer than a Talib Kweli punchline /
I rap into the next bar like a Talib Kweli punchline /
But I make no sense like a Talib Kweli punchline.”

I can understand why that line's stuck in your head though. Anyways, in honour of his award, here are a random couple of my favourite lyrics from Afterparty Babies

"Now girls love to be photographed/ That's a fact that can't be argued by the constraints of feminism in society/
It's not that far from how everyone's a DJ /
or how every single party is destined to be great"

"Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes was my idea!"

I could go on and on but I'm tired and lazy. I highly recommend that you peep his discography as soon as you get the chance.

Cadence Weapon is currently working on his third album "Roquentin", which apparently takes its title from the work of Jean-Paul Sartre. ExistentiaLOL. Can't Wait.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Single, Please Mingle: Lord Infamous, T-Rock & II Tone feat. Chamillionaire "Love my Whip"

If you've heard ‘Scale-a-Ton’, chances are pretty high that your fiend-meter is set on high @ the return of Lord Infamous. So get this: Apparently Lord Infamous, T-Rock and II Tone actually have a collaboration album called "Blood Money" coming out soon. Yeah, you read right. Lord Infamous AND T-Rock. I guess Three 6 and T-Rock have buried the hatchet on their beef? Eitherway, this has all the makings of a major problem right here. This track finds both in fine form here, manipulating melody and double-time raps effortlessly. I don't know anything about II Tone, and am not too motivated to dig further based on his performance on this. He maintains the track's tempo well enough but he doesn’t leave an outstanding impression against the heavyweights he’s up against.

Chamillionaire kinda wins this round by gliding oh-so-smoothly across the beat with his track-opening verse. Excerpt: “Run up on me with your piece, and that’s what you gonna rest as/ Rest in/ Bet that/Presto poof!/ That fast.” Prediction: You do not make it through to the rest of the song coz you keep slapping rewind on Cham's verse. Place your bets.

The Ritalin-sponsored child choir chorus is sorta suspect – Two questions:
1) Who let their kids step into a studio with Lord Infamous?
2) When little kids yelp about loving their whip, don’t you assume it’s about Miracle Whip? I certainly do but given my rich, creative history of mayo consumption, I understand if you accuse me of being biased.

So yeah, the chorus is kinda meh. But yknow what? The verses are worth the wait.

Hope the album brings more heat. BLAY!

P.S Cop a zshare via
Traps n Trunks.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Single, Please Mingle: Passion Pit "The Reeling"

I know I'm late but jeez, what a song, eh? Like injecting fruitopia and red bull straight into your veins. Make sure to strap that arm nice and tight folks.

Passion Pit's full-length debut "Manners" dropped sometime earlier this month and it appears to be pretty solid. I'm only on my 3rd spin of the record but it seems like a keeper. Not outstanding or essential but far from a throwaway record. Dance punk as a "movement" may have died, but I doubt the rough aesthetic of dance-based rock can really be killed. Duh, right? Maybe it'll morph into something weird like no-wave or what have you. Whatever. Fuck all this talk about our generation's legacy and how we'll be viewed 20 years down the line for being into shit like this. Let's not overthink this. We're here now, so let's dive head first into our foolishness. It feels good.

Back to the song at hand. I believe this is the lead single from the record. I know its been getting its fair share of airplay for quite some time now. Best part about this song, and this band for that matter, is the lead singer's falsetto. He sounds sorta like Geddy Lee or that dude from Coheed and Cambria who umm sounds like Geddy Lee. Anyways, in case you don't know, I love falsettos. Seriously, Swangerrr Management would like to take this moment to officially cosign the fuck out of falsettos. I'm just so disappointed that no one in real life talks in falsettos. Atleast nobody that I know. If you talk in a falsetto, hit me up: I would like to be best friends with you.

p.s Peep Pitchfork's review of

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Single, Please Mingle: Redman & Method Man feat. Raekwon & Ghostface Killah "4 Minutes 2 Lockdown"

So Blackout 2 is nice but not as good as it should be. Personally, I would've settled for more of the same from the original Blackout production lineup i.e more of Erick Sermon's funk-fried beats for Meth & Red to get their groove on. This album's production has made concessions to our contemporary pop rap landscape, and so it's a bit of a hit or miss affair.

Anyways, this track lives upto the hype that its lineup generates. The horn-helmed beat is to the point and all of these dudes come correct on this. It's got this nice structure with Red and Ghost pumping the opening and closing credits with adrenaline and Rae and Meth holding the fort down in the middle with grit.

It's hard to rank them, but I think Meth's verse is my favourite (See: "G'd up, married to the game without a prenup" and "pack a little heater/game get colder in the freezer/ hit your little corner with the sweeper, dance with the reaper"). But that's subjective since there's nothing to scoff at here. Red is predictably animated ("Cold, my heart built with a snowball/ And I fuck old women like Zohan"). Raekwon delivers typically great innercity threats ("Before all the cussing and the gunfights, don't wanna rum nights /Yeah, scramble when the sun lights"). Ghost continues to bring the urgency of an escaped convict on the run. Seriously. The dude just opens his verse with a cliff hanger "Ayo, I woke up in handcuffs/ Heard the police wanted me dead." Stay tuned and try to keep up, listener.

It's that symbol again.

P.S Out of curiousity guys, WTF is up with a track named 4 Minutes not being 4 minutes long?

Single, Please Mingle: Cory Gunz "Time Keeps Ticking"

Ever since his big break on Wayne's original version of 'A Millie', I've been waiting for Cory Gunz to win me over completely (Pause?). Dude's been doing his thing for a minute on the mixtape circuit (a cursory glance at DatPiff tells me he's been doing this atleast since 06), but he never did release a definitive mixtape or album I could whole heartedly cosign. He might not be the most charismatic member of the Freshmen class of '09, but he certainly can rap, as evidenced by several promising singles strewn across the blogosphere every other month. His awesome "Bad Freestyle Part 2" was the last notable one I remember. Hopefully his upcoming Gangsta Grillz mixtape is able to effectively distill his potential and remove all the "underachiever" whispers floating around him.

"Time Keeps Ticking" is off of the upcoming "Gangsta Grillz - Heir to The Throne" mixtape btw. Gunz does his whole tongue-twister-friendly rap, this time opting for a more moody, restrained flow than usual. Vinny Idol's claustrophobic beat swoops in for the win though. That bassline, those drums! Something wicked this way comes, dudes.

Cop a
zshare off of NahRight.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Single, Please Mingle: Young Dro feat. Yung LA "Take Off"

You know the sound (Take off) Keeeeeyyaaaaoooowwww, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyaaaaooow.


Regardless of late or not, you know I just had to post this right? Swangerrr Management has a spiritual and moral obligation towards posting Young Dro tracks. So one of the few thoroughly enjoyable tracks off of Dro's disappointing Black Boy, White Boy mixtape gets a video. It's apparently the lead single for Dro's forthcoming P.O.L.O album as well. Fingers crossed tighter.

As its a track titled "Take Off", there's quite a few pharmaceutical-themed quotables in here including: "Young Dro in the club, my wrist cost a hundred rats / When I pop a pill, I take off like the Thundercats" and "I fuck with kush so much, I had Amsterdam children"

Yung LA, T.I and a 'Catch Me if You Can' video theme appear. Just because. Don't ask questions. It's a Dro video. Actually if I may, I have three questions:

1) I noticed that the passport that Dro decided to manipulate his image on in the beginning of the vid @ 0.19 secs was the passport of an old white dude who was born in Armenia in "01 Jan 1950." Do y'all think that Dro can get a pass as a 59 year old Armenian-born American?
2) In the vid, is Dro being chased by the feds or the Blues Brothers?
3) Speaking of the Catch Me If You Can video theme, would T.I, Dro and LA have gotten away from the feds (like they did in this video) had Alfamega been present in their posse?

That is all.

P.S Video spotted at Nah Right.

Single, Please Mingle: DJ Quik & Kurupt "9x`s Outta 10"

Damn. These mofos came out with We the West t-shirts??? Plagiarism I say! Ever since Khaled came out with We the Best tees, I've been talking about this idea of selling XXL tees that had We The Chest stencilled across the chest area (obviously). I also had a women's line called We The Breast. I had all my bases covered. We the Chest would have joined the late night infomercial pantheon with the Snuggie and Shamwow. This was supposed to be my moment to get rich quick.

But alas. This destined-to-be-matheletes-anthem steals all my thunder. I've honestly not followed Kurupt's career to a T, but I've heard enough Death Row features to know that he means business. More importantly, Quik sounds like he's got a chip on his shoulder and something to prove. If
Hey Playa and 9 Xs Outta 10 are any indication, this record is gonna be a problem.

BlaQKout dropping sometime in 09. Get ready.

"Pretty soon the radiated mushrooms will radiate entire rooms / Go bananas, baboons / just STOP!" - Quik

PS Track spotted at
Dirty Glove Bastard

Friday, May 8, 2009

Single, Please Mingle: DJ Paul feat. Lord Infamous "Internet Whore"

I would’ve posted this much earlier had I not been out of commission from the conscious world for the past few days courtesy of a flu that contained high traces of bitchassness. This week's schedule has pretty much been all about two teaspoons of robitussin & 10 hours of slumber on the daily. Just a day in the life of a teenage Juelz Santana basically.

"Scale-a-ton" has been the soundtrack to my recovery. God bless DJ Paul and all the demons he fucks with. I feel like I've been waiting forever for this record to drop and so it feels totally weird watching it drop outta nowhere this week. Blog props for The Cool Kids’ new mixtape but no promo whatsoever for a fucking DJ Paul album??? Explain yourself, internet! Whatevs, your loss.

This album is on some seriously dependable shit. The deceptively simple art of combining good beats with great hooks. Three 6 is back at it. Given the fact that I have quite a few faves at this point, I’ve been flip flopping all week with regards to what track to post. But since this is a blog, I figured a ghoul-ish track titled ‘Internet Whore’ would be pretty apt.

Chorus goes: “I met her on myspace, found her on facebook / got head on youporn, (something something something)/ she’s an internet whore, you can enter that whore”

Is DJ Paul celebrating promiscuous women easily accessible via the internet or commenting on the impermanence of our relationships via the web? Is it about sexual sluts carelessly giving up their bodies and their morals or about mental sluts recklessly releasing obscene amounts of personal information via social networking sites? Which side are you on? What have you compromised recently?

OK. Fine, fiiiine. I’ll put the Robotussin away.

Anyways, bump this album coz DJ Paul’s back. Just. Like. That.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Single, Please Mingle: Gucci Mane feat Three Six Mafia, Project Pat, Yung Joc & OJ Da Juiceman "Never Too Much (Remix)"

Awww shit. The first time I heard this song (which for the record was like, around 9.00 pm on a Sunday night), I jumped right out of my chair and started marching around my room. Straight Bushwacker-style. No joke. It just made so much sense at the time.

Anyways, these all star collabo lineups keep getting more ridiculoid by the second. This is like half of my last month's playlist converging into a single mp3 file. I was going to rank the verses of the featured rappers but its pretty hard since they all do a nice job. Personally, the numero uno spot would belong to DJ Paul's retort to sell-out accusations : "And I still represent and live in the south, so nigga get that hollywood shit out your mouth" I know lines like these sound less-than-mediocre on paper, but this is rap and you already know that delivery is king. With disdain dripping out of every syllable, DJ Paul pretty much turns mean mugging into an artform.

Despite the crazy nice lineup spitting solid game, Gucci's stubborn chorus (I can't stop, I won't stop, I keep getting money/Never too much, never too much money/I woke up ballin, I went to sleep stunnin/never too much, never too much money) never lets you forget whose turf you're on. 'Catchy Gucci chorus' seems like a redundant phrase at this point. But just in case you forgot who's boss, Gucci steps in to close the track in spectacular fashion. My fave line = "My lil boy one, but his shoes four hundred/ With tax, better yet 450 / Gucci all red, so he shittin' on the infants." Poor Gucci probably has to constantly change his kid's diapers coz his lil one's swag is shitting on his playmates. That pretty much has blockbuster movie written all over it. "Gucci's Kids" or "Gucci Day Care"? What say you?

Track's off Drumma Boy's 'Welcome II the City' apparently. Cop a zshare via Nah Right

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Single, Please Mingle: Juicy J feat. Project Pat & V Slash "Hoe Pulla"

This Juicy J and Project Pat mixtape 'Play Me Some Pimpin' has been out for about a week now. I'm certainly not losing my shit over it but it does do a good job of cobbling together some solid Three 6 Mafia-related singles that have leaked in loose formats in the recent months. Example: stuff like the 30 Inches remix w/ Gucci and that Alchemist track with Juvie is on here. Since people have written about such standouts, I'm gonna go with the Hoe Pulla track instead.

Now, to be honest, as much as I love a good Three 6 ruckus bringer, I enjoy one of their laid back, bluesy chillax sessions even better. And this is one of them. The chorus goes in hard, especially with Juicy J's Hoe Pulla claims blending so seamlessly with the Isaac Hayes sample. Gotta love him authoritatively preaching about "Anything on 30s is a Hoe Pulla" with
Hayes' 'Look of Love' floating across the background. Oh hip hop, don't you ever stop being cheeky. Don't you dare!

V-Slash, who appears often on this mixtape, is also on this song. He's alright. IMHO, he sounds a lot like DJ Paul, except younger and less hard (mega-pause?). Project Pat does this thing. Juicy J owns this track in my opinion by remaining ever the gentleman

"Wagon wheels sitting so tall, hoes smiling
Maybe you can lick my balls when I'm driving
Miss Carhopper, blow me pleeease
Silicone or reality, show me D's"

What? He said please. What more do you want? If you ask me, he's ready for an appearance on Oprah.

You can download the whole tape over at
Traps 'n Trunks. There's apparently a Juicy J solo album called 'Hustle Til I Die' coming out in June. Nice! Btw, where's that solo DJ Paul record you guys???

P.S Hearing that Isaac Hayes sample has me wanting to listen to a) Jay's 'Can I Live' b) an Isaac Hayes album. I think I'm gonna go ahead and do both.

Single, Please Mingle: Rick Ross "Cigar Music"

Rick Ross - Cigar Music

So what happens when you decide to transcribe Rick Ross verses twice in a row? Will our world as we know it collapse into nothingness? I might be slightly off with this claim but I'm pretty sure this is the exact premise of that one famous Stephen Hawking book.

Here we go again:

"Uhhhh, Uhhhhh. I'm so compassionate with my compositions. Check.

Fascinated with foreign felines, since I was knee high
The cigar got me buzzin like a beehive
Fuck my old chick, I'm riding with my new thing
In her blue jeans, panties like shoe strings
Most wanted, I'm Bin Laden on a beat nigga
Rubber band, jeans sagging to my feet nigga
Hundred grand for the wagon and the feet (fiat?) nigga
Black flaggin' , bragging I'm a street nigga
On the grind, lil rappers wanna eat with us
Tryin' to shine like Birdman teeth glitters
VMA, fine time just to creep with her
So coincidental, walking down the street with her
My loose cheese scooped up the Gucci
In two weeks, I flew through the boutiques
She get her time limit when I let her go and shop
Cruisin in the car, clip the cuban at the top
Niggas know that my tecs explode
Down to go toe-to-toe before Tecmo Bowl
Biggest boss in the game, chatter I never mind that
Coz if it mattered, C-Murder would go diamond
I reflect as I riding in my Rolls Royce
Get respect coz I give these hoes no choice."

And that's just the first verse! The dude is on-point lyrically and the strings are luscious like whoa, yknow? I'm so salty that this track isn't on my copy of Deeper Than Rap. It's apparently a bonus track on certain copies of Deeper Than Rap. It can also be found on the Deeper than Maybach Music mixtape, which is where I first heard it.

Single, Please Mingle: Rick Ross "Blame It Remix"

Blame It Remix - Rick Ross feat. Young Jeezy, T-Pain & Lil Wayne

First things first. It's May 2nd and I still L.O.V.E the original version of 'Blame it on the Alcohol.' This is exactly the kinda pop music I wanna bond and fall in love with every year. I should know better by now but that flirty beat manages to get into my pants every. single. time. I'm guessing that this specific remix has been out for quite awhile now, but I just heard it on Ross' Deeper than Maybach Music mixtape last week, so here we are.

Kinda crazy how much Ross has stepped his game up, right? I'm totally not mad at Deeper than Rap staying posted up at #1. A year ago, if you had told me that I'd be hitting rewind on a Rick Ross verse, I'd have thrown blazing hot, spicy curry in your face. And then as you'd cry out WTF! in sheer agony, I'd yell: SAUCE! Well, I'd probably yell SAUUUWSS!! to be specific, but you get the idea.

But yes, much like most of Deeper than Rap, Rick Ross totally runs this record. T-Pain's original verse on the track remains kinda unfuckwithable, and Jeezy and Wayne submit decent verses but Ross isn't fazed at all. Like many of you, I thought Ross would go down in rap history as the flubbery dude with the Boobie Boys t-shirt who rapped "Atlantic" with "Atlantic" But here he is, making his way into the limelight with a force of personality and a rhyme book that's hard to dismiss. This is as close as he might get to doing his Pharoahe Monch-lite impression, but I applaud the attempt. Actually fuck that. I don't want to make it seem like I'm somehow being generous in accepting his verse. I genuinely like this.

Heck, I've rewinded it enough times to transcribe it straight from memory.

"The homies flag like confederates,
I move fast, body bags in Conneticut
You niggas delicate, I'm the best, tell a friend
My sex excellent, Ciara celebant
Breathing on her neck, she can smell the peppermint
I know you playin' son, look at how you dressin' em
He's an embarrasment, Shaniqua call him harassment
Wanna chastise me about parentin'?
I'm buring Cali weed, punishing this parody
Fly to Venezuela just to watch the monkeys feed
But back to Ciara, baby you looking nice
Tell me what I'm looking like, I caught you looking at me twice
Pinky ring with the pink stones,
Popped a pink pill, think I took Pink home
Don't blink holmes, coz I'm too quick
Everyday she wanna hit me on with some new shit
When it comes to women, I ain't gotta fantasize
Mental rolodex, need a sec to analyze
Ross enjoying life, look at what I advertize
Tony Yayo couldn't tell you how to phantom ride
He's a monkey, I own tigersss
Every thing I touch is on fire
It's deeper than rap, yeah I call it promo
Sorry I gotta go, the hoes need photos."

Internal rhymes with a lisp FTW!

P.S When Ross mentions "Breathing on her neck, she can smell the peppermint" I choose to assume that he's talking about actual peppermint. He's probably not but the mental image of Ross creeping up to Ciara, with his breath smelling like peppermint is just too awesome to avoid.