Saturday, May 2, 2009

Single, Please Mingle: Rick Ross "Blame It Remix"

Blame It Remix - Rick Ross feat. Young Jeezy, T-Pain & Lil Wayne

First things first. It's May 2nd and I still L.O.V.E the original version of 'Blame it on the Alcohol.' This is exactly the kinda pop music I wanna bond and fall in love with every year. I should know better by now but that flirty beat manages to get into my pants every. single. time. I'm guessing that this specific remix has been out for quite awhile now, but I just heard it on Ross' Deeper than Maybach Music mixtape last week, so here we are.

Kinda crazy how much Ross has stepped his game up, right? I'm totally not mad at Deeper than Rap staying posted up at #1. A year ago, if you had told me that I'd be hitting rewind on a Rick Ross verse, I'd have thrown blazing hot, spicy curry in your face. And then as you'd cry out WTF! in sheer agony, I'd yell: SAUCE! Well, I'd probably yell SAUUUWSS!! to be specific, but you get the idea.

But yes, much like most of Deeper than Rap, Rick Ross totally runs this record. T-Pain's original verse on the track remains kinda unfuckwithable, and Jeezy and Wayne submit decent verses but Ross isn't fazed at all. Like many of you, I thought Ross would go down in rap history as the flubbery dude with the Boobie Boys t-shirt who rapped "Atlantic" with "Atlantic" But here he is, making his way into the limelight with a force of personality and a rhyme book that's hard to dismiss. This is as close as he might get to doing his Pharoahe Monch-lite impression, but I applaud the attempt. Actually fuck that. I don't want to make it seem like I'm somehow being generous in accepting his verse. I genuinely like this.

Heck, I've rewinded it enough times to transcribe it straight from memory.

"The homies flag like confederates,
I move fast, body bags in Conneticut
You niggas delicate, I'm the best, tell a friend
My sex excellent, Ciara celebant
Breathing on her neck, she can smell the peppermint
I know you playin' son, look at how you dressin' em
He's an embarrasment, Shaniqua call him harassment
Wanna chastise me about parentin'?
I'm buring Cali weed, punishing this parody
Fly to Venezuela just to watch the monkeys feed
But back to Ciara, baby you looking nice
Tell me what I'm looking like, I caught you looking at me twice
Pinky ring with the pink stones,
Popped a pink pill, think I took Pink home
Don't blink holmes, coz I'm too quick
Everyday she wanna hit me on with some new shit
When it comes to women, I ain't gotta fantasize
Mental rolodex, need a sec to analyze
Ross enjoying life, look at what I advertize
Tony Yayo couldn't tell you how to phantom ride
He's a monkey, I own tigersss
Every thing I touch is on fire
It's deeper than rap, yeah I call it promo
Sorry I gotta go, the hoes need photos."

Internal rhymes with a lisp FTW!

P.S When Ross mentions "Breathing on her neck, she can smell the peppermint" I choose to assume that he's talking about actual peppermint. He's probably not but the mental image of Ross creeping up to Ciara, with his breath smelling like peppermint is just too awesome to avoid.

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